Memories

It is almost approaching winter here in Brazil and the days are colder with less hours of sunlight. As a result it is getting dark by the time I arrive home from work, and is pitch black by the time me and my dog take our evening walk on the beach. Walking in the dark the other night I could see a flickering light, ahead in the distance, and I was drawn to it with curiosity. As I approached I could see a blue lit candle, with three white roses laid on the ground in front of it, and three heart-shaped lollipops stuck into the sand. My first thought was that the arrangement was in memory of loved ones, past or present, and I found myself thinking of those friends and family I have left behind in England. Although I do not think too much about the sadness I feel for those eagerly waiting for the day I say I am returning home, it is times like these when I do dearly miss them. I experience many feelings here; happiness, joy, excitement and at times loneliness and sadness. I can honestly say it does not happen too often, as I do not allow myself to have negative thoughts about my experiences here. After all, this time I will spend in Brazil will be a relatively short chapter in my life, and I have many objectives to achieve whilst I am here. There is no time to be sad, as when my experience here is over I am sure I will return to England and feel sadness at what I will leave behind here. Sadness is just a part of our lives as is happiness, and for every sad moment we experience it is outweighed by many other happy ones.

Today I asked the girls, with whom I work, the meaning of the arrangement. It is in fact not in memory of others but a type of ritual, that can be both positive and negative. When the arrangement is of light neutral colours, as the one I saw, it is positive. However when the candle is dark and the roses red it is negative. As they talked about the ritual in quite a negative manner I was almost disappointed, as what I saw on the beach that night to me was beautiful, and had a completely different representation.