Fear

Yesterday was the beginning of the winter holidays here in Brazil, and for the next three weeks I will be busy working with five children as they participate in an intensive Conductive Education holiday course. To prepare my team for the hard work that is ahead of us I suggested that we participate in a group activity, and so it was decided that we would do arvorismo. Arvorismo is what in English we call a canopy tour, lots of wooden bridges and wires suspended from tree to tree, just like an obstacle course but in the air and not on the ground. We arrived at the place nestled in between mountains and surrounded by the beautiful Brazilian nature yesterday morning, and we could not have picked a better day and better activity. The sun was shining and the birds singing as we took a quick walk and stopped at a small waterfall to have a drink. We didn't take water with us, we didn't need it, instead we just cupped our hands and let them fill with the water cascading in front of us.

As we prepared ourselves for the activity by putting on the equipment and going through the instructions of how to use it, some of the girls began to get nervous and were really fearful of the prospect of being high up in the trees with nothing but a rope on a wire cord. I on the other hand was excited and ready to get going. We went in two groups and as one of the girls was more nervous than the others we figured it would be best if me and her stuck together, so that my tranquility could hopefully ease her fear. On our way round the course I took every opportunity to take in the beautiful scenery and enjoy the experience that we were having. Although there were only seven of us participating, we were spread out over quite a distance and always calling out for each other to see how everyone was getting on. The further we got on in the course, the more everyone's fear eased and as we reached the end everybody was ready to start it again. One of the girls commented to the others that all the way round I was completely fearless, messing about, jumping up and down on the rope bridges, the complete opposite of what she had felt. The truth was I was not fearless, yes I was fearless of the activity, but in fact I too felt fear during the activity. I was not frightened of the height at which we were, or the fact that if we put a foot wrong we could slip, but of the spiders that I knew where also crawling about in the trees where we were climbing. We all have fears, just different fears.

Many people find my fears quite amusing because unlike many others I am not frightened by danger, actually I thrive it, instead I am frightened by some of the small things in life that rarely create any harm to us. The children that I work with experience fear everyday in their lives. Fear that due to their mobility difficulties they might fall, fear that they might not be accepted, fear of every new situation in which they are placed, fear of trying something new and failing to execute it like their peers. Some of these fears were the same as what the girls were feeling as we participated in our activity, and it gave us an insight into the world of the children with which we work. The only difference being that for children with disabilities the fear is magnified, as unlike us they are not always in control of their bodies and their actions.